I get by with a little help from...
You know those people: When they show up, they bring the sunshine. Those that have a realistic positivity and make you laugh your head off. They can be elders, whose energy and ageless vibe defies any decade or genre.
Or those that are young in years but so wise in spirit and knowledge. That seem to get it in a way that a lot of us never do, regardless of our chronological age. Old souls.
Or our peers. Laughing about shared historical events, songs, films, placing us together in time.
Those that you may not have seen in years, decades even...and yet, in a moment, you are back, no time has passed.
Those that are happy to see you. You know because you feel it in their vibe and see it in their eyes.
The glorious universe of friends!!!
They listen, they respond, they SEE you. They hear you in a way that lets you know that your words and thoughts are valid. You adore them and can't wait to hear what they have to say. They illuminate your world with their interesting perspective.
Seek them out. Seek out the people that leave you refreshed. Those that feed you, that cultivate a reciprocal friendship that is an exchange of energy, and is not a one sided soul suck.
Reciprocity is something that is integral in all of our relationships, and essential if we are to cultivate healthy friendships.
And be mindful of mega unloading. Sometimes when we find that ever longed for great listener and friend, and they provide that safe place to share, it can feel like such a relief to be understood and to have someone that cares, it can turn into a monologue.
Pace yourself. Check in with your person. No matter how gnarly your current situation is, they get a turn.
Like everything worth having, friendships take work and care.
I am blessed to have friendships that go back to early childhood, that are STILL prospering and hilariously fun. We know each other so well and over so many seasons and hairstyles (!) that we can almost speak in shorthand and get it. Classmates, former bosses, former boyfriends, co volunteers, my kid, my sisters in law, ex boyfriend's moms, my husband, flatmates. Work people. Whatever. Newbies that feel like oldies because it is so natural and feels so comfortable. My circle is broad and is a constant source of knowledge, wisdom and hilarity. Super grateful.
The ones that find your quirks endearing, not annoying.
If you feel drained and dread when that text comes in or that number comes up on caller ID, take stock. Think of how you define friendship and see if it still fulfills that definition. When you hang up, or when the text thread ends, if you consistently feel judged, shamed or used, take a good long look at the relationship.
Friendship is 100% choice and not a life sentence.
We all deserve to be loved for the magical, once in forever unicorns that we are. Find your herd.
One love xo
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