Here we are, another season upon us. It is spring in full force, the showers, the flowers, the sunbreaks, the rainbows!! I LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR!!! For all that it bestows in terms of color and vibrancy, the fresh scent of rain, puddles, warmer days and longer evenings.
My favorite way to celebrate the season of renewal? A MASSIVE spring clean. This could be physical or emotional. If it is physical, start small. Pick a place...like your junk drawer... or a corner of the garage...and build from the momentum of your success. It feels so good to be actually addressing whatever it is that needs to be addressed, that it will propel you to continue!! There are so many super expert decluttering pro's right now spreading their knowledge... buy one of their books, watch some of their YouTube vids, whatever motivates you. The most important thing: BEGIN!!! You deserve to live in a peaceful, clean space.
The other kind of spring clean is taking stock of our relationships and tidying up those that need to be attended to. Are you feeling guilty for neglecting an old friend/your grandma/ your former neighbor/work colleague, and every day it gets worse but you just keep procrastinating and putting it off because now it is uncomfortable, etc? Stop. Guess what? Today is the day! You are making the call! You are sending the checking-in e mail! You are freeing yourself from feeling guilty about not responding or being in touch because... you are!
Another aspect of this is cleaning out the relationships that are dysfunctional. Those people that seem to know how to push your buttons and leave you feeling frustrated, depressed, or just less than. Who are these people and why do we seem to have them in our lives? Some are family, of course. Some are just friends. And the dynamic may go back years and years or be recent. Whatever it is, if it is not working you do not need to accept it. If the person in question makes you feel more bad than good, ( you walk away after having coffee or hanging up the phone feeling like your life has been a mistake, you aren't smart enough/pretty/skinny/rich/ athletic enough, etc.) or if you don't like who you are when you are hanging out with this person, it is time to either put them in a time out, or break up with them. It is your life. You are allowed to break up a relationship that is no longer working...even if you have known this person for a long time. Friendship is one of the profound joys of our lives. "A friend is person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection." That is the dictionary definition. I have a good friend that we will call Judy. EVERY conversation that I have with her is a joy. She always lifts me up, makes me feel loved, cared for and respected. I feel nourished and smarter, cooler and funnier than I actually am, every time I talk to he. And she is honest with me. She will lovingly call me on my shit. I always listen. She has my best interests at heart, and I can feel it. If I am overjoyed about something wonderful that is happening, she is the person that will celebrate my success as if it were her own. She helps others, she almost never complains, and she is wicked smart and hilariously funny. Plus she loves animals. I would clone her if I could. She is the template for what a friend should be. ( I am blessed with several of these types! ) What a gift! And she gives this to all of her friends. I aspire to have the impact on others that she does.
If the person is a family member, time outs and very hard core boundaries are often the best way, if a full break is not possible. You do not have to engage, and you do not have to explain your behavior.
Remember whose life this is. YOURS. And that you deserve to be happy. And your happiness will undoubtedly have a ripple effect. Spread the joy. Happy Spring!