Many years ago, a book came out that had a rather big title, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. I had heard of it, but hadn't sought it out as (perceived) new agey banter is typically not my thing. I didn't read this book until last year when someone gave it to my son as a graduation present. Upon perusing, I found that the four agreements contained therein were actually really a valuable template for navigating life. The one that resonated deeply with me, a lifelong people pleaser, was, "Don't take anything personally."
That simple statement has become something of a personal mantra. It seems to lift the anger and hurt that can result from just regular old life, at various intervals. The refusal to accept others issues-even if the vitriol or judgement is pointed squarely at you-is deliriously liberating, if your go to is hurt, guilt or over analysis. (c'est moi!)
This does not mean that we can absolve ourselves of responsibility. Far from it. It in fact allows us to distill that which is genuinely important, and give our valuable attention to those matters. How does one know the difference? You do. You will. The perceived judgement of others, the ACTUAL judgement of others, in situations that you cannot control and really have no business trying... those are the things we can slough off with an adamant and detached, " not about me...not taking this personally." Irate person having a go at you for a perceived infraction like accidentally cutting them off while merging, or not providing the "right" answer while you deal with them in a work situation? Not about you. All about them, and THEIR life. Eye rolling from a colleague whilst you are speaking in a meeting? Not about you. Not personal. All about them and their shit. You can't solve it and thank god, you don't have to. Blow it off like seeds from a dandelion head. Wish it well. Bon voyage!
Practice this today. I promise you will be more relaxed, and that you will have more time and brain and heart space for what you love and those you love.
Peace xoxo